feb 14 fever

universally, today is the love day... it's Valentines Day.

but for us special children, the BSA modular babies, it's 3E's BIG DAY -- our Compre day.

... and instead of going out tonight, we will hit the sack early to restore all those lost sleeps for the past days.

this is the life of acmod people. our life.

news break

Isang bata ang naiulat na nawawala!
halos apat na buwan na ng ito'y huling makita!
siya'y nagngangalang Denver Chua
maliit, mataba ang pisngi.

sa kanyang pagkawala

walang maisip na dahilan, ni walang pasintabi
naglayas, kidnap for ransom?
ito'y hindi maari, malaking kalokohan!

huli siyang nakita kasama sina franz, jay
katatapos lang ng kanilang klase noon
matapos noo'y ni anino'y di na nakita
kaya isang malawakang paghahanap ang naganap

tiningnan ang kfc
hinalughog buong LS bldg
sa UM, Mayon st, pati Kaibigan inusisa
matapos ang masidhing pag-iimbestiga, natagpuan rin siya.

unti-unting inuukit ang kanyang tahanan
nag-a-apply for permanent residency
salbaheng bata, di man lang nagpaalam sa magulang
siya pala'y nasa puso lamang ni Domini Comia!

rotten feeling, bukol sa ulo

It's one's attitude and not the aptitude that determines one's altitude.

:- O waaaah!

gusto kong sumigaw, magwala... ACMOD3E! bakit ang hirap mo?

but it's only a grade.

yes, it's only a numerical figure.

A numerical figure which sets my career. Shockers naman oh...



Ok, let's analyze my case.

DEFINITELY I WON'T REACH THE 2.0 CUT-OFF with the rate I'm going.

so that leaves me with two probabilities nalang.

Grade of 1.0 or 1.5
* Buh-bye 'With Honors' award
* I'll take a validating exam, dagdag review na naman to. -- ang kaso, bakit parang hindi parin ako nag- aaral sa mga resulta ng exams ko. PROMISE,,, wala na akong ginawa kundi mag-aral.
* P100 yung validating fee -- nakakain na sana ako ng Bento Meal sa KFC with this amount. Butas na butas na nga bulsa for all those photocopies (imagine how many trees were cut and used to produce these wastes) tapos dadagdag pa tong fee na to. Oh boy...


Failed grade = 0.0
* Buh-bye 'With Honors' award AND 'Priority Enrollment' privilege
* Delayed na ako -- I won't graduate on December
* Madumi na Transcript of Records ko
* Sira na ang aking student morale
* I don't deserve the title 'Accounting Pool Head'
* Ang confidence ko... down to zero na talaga.
* Wala na...................................................................

Reflecting... kaya ko ba to?

Blessings in disguise!

Ahmm... I wish! How could it be? I don't know... wala na akong alam, bahala na...

rude awakening

wow.

God really works in miraculous ways.

my score of 49 over 85 has done it.

ngayon, not only am I focused in my readings but also determined to do better with my life.

ULTIMATE GOAL: GET 100% in our last two quizzes, sama ko narin yung COMPRE exam diba.

... everything is possible. kung nabuhay nga ni Jesus ang patay e di lalo na ang magpasa ng isang estudyanteng nahamak sa pag-ibig... hehehehehe...

SO HELP ME GOD.

St. Jude? Are you there? (~~,)

picture mo, kaligayahan ko

I've finally done it. I've finally put this game to an end. Hopefully.

Time flies so fast, isn't it? I can still recall how things started: our first sight, first email, first conversation, our first stare. They're all as clear as yesterday. Though I admit, there's something missing now - and I doubt if I'd still can make it come back - that is how magical they all felt. I know I felt heaven those days but I can't remember anymore how it felt , how good it felt.

I never took you out my mind, nor here... in my heart. You just drifted away, slowly and achingly. Everyday is like a battle; waking up every morning realizing how different things are now between us, that there's nothing I can do anymore to bring them back, is like dying again and again. Seriously, loneliness and failure sucked everything in me. For weeks I've been sick and pathetic; not even my family nor friends can do anything about it. I've even reached the suicidal stage. So it's really a miracle I'm still here in this world.

I've already accepted it. I've realized it's about time to move on. My whole life has been greatly and adversely affected now: I'm failing all my modules, I can't think well, I'm always lost in my mind, my tissues are all wet, I can't focus at anything. Yes, I'm shattered into pieces. But I'm ready now to bring things back to normal. Normal life, and you're not in it.

It is still hanging in the air though: why do you have to happen in my life that way, too soon and quick? For what reason? If it is for experience, joy... I don't get it. For it's more of the opposite. Failure, desperation, loss... what does He want to tell me?

Oh, I get it. Self-control. Think well before you act. Use your head not your heart. I just hope there's more to this. Admittedly, they sound nothing but crap. They're all easy to understand but they're not enough to fill the curiousity in me. I hope you'd tell me yourself. It's just unfair. How come I'm dying here with so much pain while you aren't even affected? How can I move on when my questions are still unanswered? How can I change the fact that though you're drifting away, the scar you're leaving is so deep that I think no one could ever fill it up except you.

I'm doing a monotonous again. I've done a million now yet there's still a lot inside I want to pour out. No, I don't want to talk to you. Actually I don't know myself what I really want. Is it you? I wish we could reset things and never let you happen anymore. If only we could do that then I would have been living normally these days, enjoying life, our modular program, everything.

I don't want to stop now. Set me free.

continuation of yesterday's

ano na naman ito
sampung oras na naman ang nasayang
sana'y may nagawa man lamang
upang hinaharap ay lumiwanag
at ika'y matuwa sa akin

pero para saan pa
sadyang masakit ngunit tama na
mayroon ka ng iba
kahit ano pang ialay
mundo'y magkalayo't magkaiba

pero huwag ka
sa aking tabi'y may nagpupuno
kung di man kaligayahan
ay oras at pagamamahal
na kailanma'y iyong pinagdamot

kaya aking sasabihin
nabubuhay man ako para sayo lang
pipiliting ika'y ibaon na
harapin kahit mga gabing malamig
at magtatagumpay sa piling ng iba.



nakakaasar na
bakit ba sa aking mga tula
kung hindi kabiguan ang iniiyak
ay kasiyahan na dulot mo at ikaw lang
ngayong may iba rin naman sa buhay
pag-aaral, pamilya, kaibigan
andyan si Chuck Ali
o kaya'y si Raul Mitra ng PPS

hindi ako baliw sayo
hindi ako lulong sayo
at lalong hindi ako inlab sayo
ewan ko ba bakit
ginayuma mo ba ako?
tingnan mo
nakakalima na ako ngayong gabi
puro ikam ang tinatangis
kahit nga ang isang ito!
asar ka talaga
kailan mo ba ako titigilan
hindi ka naman cute!



--finale--

Weird things are happening to me
mas kabado ako kapag asa paligid ka
kaysa kapag magrereport ako sa klase
mas madami akong natatapos na tula
kaysa sa mga kabanatang dapat basahin
mas iniiyakan ka
kaysa sa mga hadya ng pumasang pagsusulit
mas namomoblema sa hindi mo pagtawag
kaysa sa dami ng takdang basahin
mas iniisip ang iyong mga ngiti
kaysa sa eksam kinabukasan
at mas nabubuhayan kapag ika'y dumadaan
kaysa kapag natatapos ang isang submodule.