today's homily

Life in this world is difficult.

... but the moment you acknowledge this fact, life would be easier.

This is where Father Larry's homily revolved early this morning. Thinking about it, siguro kaya ako nagkakaganito. I grew up achieving almost whatever my heart sets out; and now that I'm in the brink of failing to reach my dream, eto mamamatay na ako sa sama ng loob.

Sino ba kasi nagpauso ng kasabihang "You can reach whatever your hearts desire"? Eto naman ako, paniwalang paniwala dito. I'm even confident that if others can do it, i can too. Very wrong. We have our own limitations... different weaknesses.

And then, meron pa yung "you can never have all the good things in the world". Ang sa akin lang, bakit hindi pwede?

Issue # 3 - Sir Caloy's evaluation for me

I admit. I'm such a hypocrite. Ang lakas naman ng loob kong sabihin I deserve more than 3.0 grade point. If I deserve higher than that, I wouldn't need to beg for it, nor ask for more performance evaluation. I should've been thankful for the act palang diba?

I'm just jealous. This is what I hate most with myself: I keep on comparing myself to others. All my other batchmates are having the grade I want most and I'm stucked with only 3.0. Sobrang bigat dito [pointing my chest], pero what else can I do? Sabi nga ni Nanay, never mind what my evaluator thinks about me nor the grade he gave me, think about the experience, new friends I gained. My pillow pa ako from Miss Nedy, o diba? Mas mahalaga daw yun. That's what I've been telling myself din actually, ewan ko lang ba kung bakit bitter parin ako. At haler, ilang beses ko bang sasabihin na these numerical figures do not truly tell what kind of person you are. They are deceptive in fact.

Mag-sour graping daw ba??? HAHAHAHA... 'yaan niyo na ko.

At this point in time, 98% na akong ok regarding Sir Caloy. Nakatext ko na kasi siya. We're even sending jokes. I'm not sure kung hindi ka-plastikan yung kahapon (on his side) pero bakit kailangan pang isipin diba? Basta alam ko we're ok na... Ok naman kami nung first two weeks; for a reason I would never know, ayun, naging malamig na siya lately sakin. Sabi ni Debbie and Sir Clyde, baka nagtampo daw. What's funny, baka daw nagseselos sabi ni Debi. O diba, tamang telenovela... [Like I care. May grade na ako. HAHAHA... baba nga e.]

I would like to add, ayun nga kay Jenny: It's not necessary that all your efforts and sacrifices are recognized, as long as you know and God knows you did your best, nothing more to say, nothing more to prove.

ACCEPTANCE

One virtue I'm having a hard time to learn by heart. Why can't I accept that

Failing is healthy and it's normal

??? Haaay, for my sanity's sake, EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. Whatever the reason is, ipagdadasal ko nalang na it's worth it.

**NO PAIN NO GAIN

**Behind every cross is salvation.

More words I heard Father telling us this morning. I can't wait for the last part of the statements.

Laki kasi sa 'sarap' kaya konting problema bibigay na. Sigh...