Saturday, December 31, 2005

Death Letter

Hi! (^ ^ )

I'll be serious with this one so please take time to read this.
I AM SORRY for all the nuisances I've brought. Kung ginulo ko ang tahimik mong mundo, sa aking kakulitan, for all my insensitive jokes. Sorry for that red letter which freaked you out. I didn't mean to freak you out. I wasn't expecting that kind of reaction actually. And the list goes on. Feeling ko you're ignoring my emails kasi asar ka na sa akin kaya sorry po.

Let me explain. Why did I do all these: swallowed my pride, dug info about you, sent you emails, gave you that letter and even asked you about that on-line enrolment when I could have asked someone else (opportunity to talk to you knocked so I grabbed it! hehe)? Well, this isn't new to you. I've been vocal ever since. I want to know more about you, to befriend you. Sabi nga ni Kyla sa song niya "I wanna get close to you, cause I couldn't take my eyes off you..." Haha, this song reminds me of you. (~~,) Going back. But I don't have the guts to do this face to face, especially for the fact that we don't have any common denominator; we're not even classmates in any of our subjects! So I decided I could use the wonder of email technology (and not through text. I'm not approve of this medium if you're really serious with what you want to say) But to my disappointment, you denied me of that chance. After all those complements, the gesture and hints I left in every message I sent, all I got is your cold, one-line, end-of-the-conversation replies. *Ouch. I've accepted that though, after all, maybe you are just not interested AT ALL, and/or you're just like that - not a writer. Ok, fine, not all your replies were really cold, one-line and end-of-conversation. You sent me fulfilling replies dati (yung mga di nagpatulog sa akin), lately lang yung "wow,,,ang lamig mo tol." sad.

I would like you to know that my intention is good. Hindi po kita pinagti-tripan. And I really plan to approach you and confess that I was the one. I'm just waiting for the right time: when you're in a good mood and smiling, as much as possible when you're alone (or with a friend and not a group of friends) and I'm confident that everything will turn out fine. I had some opportunities but I decided not to. Ofcourse, it isn't that easy. I happen to fear rejection too. I am not 100% sure if you'd talk to me the way you talked to me nung tinanong kita about on-line enrolment last November 10. However, with just 2 regular days left, I have to do it now or it would be never. And so I'm asking you, how do you want me to approach you? Para we are both aware and not one will get embarassed in front of anyone's friends. Do you want me to do it outside your BUSIPOL classroom or somewhere other than there, like in a comlab? Obviously, this is if you still want to meet me. If not, though it's not ok for me (sana binaril mo nalang ako diba?) I will just have to accept it. By now I should have known that life can be really cruel sometimes. Nice timing, before finals pa diba???

I do hope that you're serious when you said you'll give me your grad pic for I'm really serious when I told you I really can't get enough of you. This is my first time to do all these silly things and I definitely want to imprint in my life (and most especially in my wallet) the guy who caught me off guard; that -- guy who provoked me to do the things I never thought I'd do in my lifetime (imagine a proud person doing the first move...) and who inspired me every MWF (sige na nga, and sometimes TH) with just his "killer" smile and serious-but-cute looks. O, ang ulo ha. Pero I'm serious, ang lakas po talaga ng dating niyo. Di mo naman ako ginayuma diba? (~~,)

I think I've said enough. I know you're busy these days (who else is not anyway?) with all those due papers and exams next week. Thank you for the time and my apology again. All I wanted was a decent reply! Mababaw lang naman kaligayahan ko e...

I wish you good luck on all your exams next week. Keep smiling. Happy holidays! (~~,)

--- would you call this pathetic or romantic? ---

it's a shame someone has to write a letter like this one. sad but we have to move on.

i can't blame its author, i once felt the same and it can really drive you mad, believe me.

Hay... it's an hour away before the clock strikes twelve. 2006 na!

Let's leave the past behind, bury all these 'unfortunate events' in our subconcious and welcome whatever awaits us this year of the dog!

putok putok hayan na kumakatok. iba't ibang amoy, usok, ingay,,, hmmmmm, bagong taon na nga! (^^)


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